Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
