I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
