okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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