I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
