yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
