Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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