If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
