what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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