Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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