So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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