The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
this is an emotional support booty call
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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