My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
