we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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