never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
