I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
