Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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