sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize