What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
