Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize