Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
