can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
