we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
