Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
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