And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
