I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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