just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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