you didnt know i had herpes?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
