Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize