wat bout pragnant strippers??
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
