The maid of honor just puked.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
