Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
