I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
