Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
