You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
