Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
