Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
