Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
