you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
