There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
