barbara walters just said penis...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
