do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we're making bets on your personal life
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
