Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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