Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
