I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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