Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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