she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
