I just made out with a guy for $7.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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