he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
