My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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