hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
