you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
