Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
