Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
