I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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