So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
