No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
