When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize