And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
