I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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