How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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