apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
