yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
