so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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