butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
