Don't you send me to vm
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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