woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize