Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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