I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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