I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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