My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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