Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
